If you Need a Reminder

If you need to remember why seeking Christ is necessary in your life refer to the above quote. He is light, love, and every good gift comes from him. Seek him, and find rest for your soul. I have and do experience this as I continually turn my life, the whole deal, over to him each and every moment of my day. Although mysterious, Christ is eager to reveal himself to us. 

Keep Connected

So I logged on fb and read this from a friend, to a friend. I find that it truly resonates with my heart. 

"Sweet friend, I know how it feels to want to completely shut down when life gets challenging and things happen that we don't understand. But if we pull away from praying, reading our Bible and seeking God-we just suffer. 

If we stay committed to doing those things that keep us connected with God, we will experience an intimacy and power in the midst of our suffering we can’t get any other way.” Lysa TerKeurst

This reminds me of a quote from one of my favorite books (Finding true strength in surrender to god: as you wish, by Mercy Lokulutu). The writer, Mercy, says of her mother, "the prosperous times did not distract her, and the lean times did not undo her." From what??? FROM SEEKING GOD. FROM CALLING OUT TO HIM, RELYING ON HIM, TRUSTING IN HIM, SEARCHING FOR HIM WITH ALL HER HEART.  

It is truly only in seeking God, that satisfaction can come. May I daily seek him with all my heart, for then I shall find Him. (Jeremiah 29:13) 

Be there

I have always been somewhat of a multi tasker but recently have been working on being present with my focus and thoughts in relation to who I am with and where I am at. I read a quote that said, "your cannot multitask presence." And it really resonated with me. In the past week I have been saying silently to myself "wherever you are, be there." It has helped me BE with my children, BE with the silence that is around me and find joy in doing so. 

In high school Zach had a creative writing teacher that asked her students to "go there", to that place where the real core about you is. Where there might be pain. When I have had disappointments and let down expectations I have told myself to "go there" and not numb or distract myself from accepting what is. It might be true to say "where ever you are, (your present consciousness and situation), be there. (Be present and accepting)" I have been experiencing a lot of peace as I have done this. It's amazing what being present can do for a life. 

"You little punk"

Sam and I were laying in bed, drifting off to sleep. He placed his cheek next to me and whispered in my ear "I love you, little punk". He said it so tenderly and with such endearment. It thoroughly had my giggling inside. I never have called him a little punk. He learned the phrase from an older cousin who called him "a little punk" and I guess Sam took it as a term of endearment. I still am laughing and mushy in love for my sweet little boy. 

Adding to the fun word play, Sam has been referring to me as "mama chums" recently. I also found a video from the May before his second birthday in July where he is calling me "mama kyco". His sweet nature and silly word play is adorable. I treasure Sam and all the creative and silly moments he adds to my life. 

Keep on loving

With Sam getting older, he is becoming more aware of the world, how life works, what people are talking about, etc. it is quite exciting to see his wheels turning and his little intellectual mind pump out logical responses and ideas. But with this  wonderful gift also has come a realization that he can do what he wants. Which is good. But it's difficult when he decides that he doesn't want to brush his teeth any more and no amount of playing or distraction or making it fun will work. He just doesn't want to brush them. I am at a new crossroads with him to enlarge our relationship, and strength our boundaries appropriately. This new expansion of personal choice and freedom has tested me further to my perceived limits and I have had to rely in a deeper way on the power of love in parenting and relationships. I am seeking a greater understanding of love and how it feels and looks and operates in new situations. When I am impatient and angered I see a wedge between my son and I. When I focus on the idea that I am not his superior, but his mentor to help him succeed then I find a much more trusting and directed little boy who wants to be good. Force and coercion are never the answer... Even when it is inconvenient to be patient, kind, loving, open, etc.  my prayer is that as my life continually changes with the seasons of childhood and family life that with each new challenge I will view it as an opportunity to choose love, prove love and come to know a deeper meaning of what love is. I find motherhood a perfect opportunity for me to experience these lessons on true love. 

Decided on Love

This afternoon during my meditation I renewed my focus on listening and obeying my inner voice. The light within all of us is from Christ. Christ says that he is the true light that is within all of us. This inner voice is always a voice of love. I, so far in my journey relate to God, understand God, and have experienced God as LOVE. The descriptions of Love in the scriptures are plentiful. Patient, kind, submissive, meek, humble, etc, etc.  all these qualities are strong and courageous. It takes more wisdom, more strength, more resolve to be loving than to be whatever the natural man desires in every moment, especially in defining moments. I have decided on love. I have decided on following than inner voice of love. It is a decision. In each moment I choose love, and in every circumstance the way that love is manifest is different, depending upon what the voice says.

Sometimes love speaks, sometimes it holds the tongue. That inner voice of love has directed me through many different experiences, from daily and mundane, to overwhelmingly large and drastic. And I know that love never fails. If you choose to hold to Love, it will not fail you. It is an oasis amidst external turmoil. It is a solid foundation. It is a clear view of things, of people, of situations as they really are. It is God, both male and female. Their love is what gives life to all things. Love is the creative power that brings order and harmony to all. Love cannot fail, will not fail. When you become decided on love, you find an anchor, a compass, a map, a direction, a center and source of unshakeable peace and joy.

 I have given myself over to love, I have been won over by love. Each moment I breath I decide to continue to give myself over to love, to be own over by love. It is a continual path I have decided to choose. And it is oh so beautiful, messy, courageous, difficult and easy all at the same time. Love is what I seek, and what I love. I am decided on love.